Chick Flicks and Guy Movies

From Menletter February 2010

By Tim Baehr

Nick Waters, a young guy in Oklahoma, agreed to watch 30 days of chick flicks in 30 days with his wife and discover, with his wife's help and interpretations, what made women tick. He concluded that "any real relationship is based on forgiveness, compassion and vulnerability." Films, all chosen from 2007 or later, were based on suggestions from friends and posters to his website. The final list was:

1. Atonement

2. My Life In Ruins

3. Whip It

4. Georgia Rule

5. It's Complicated

6. Leap Year

7. Mamma Mia!

8. Bright Star

9. The Secret Life of Bees

10. 27 Dresses

11. The Women

12. (500) Days of Summer

13. Cairo Time

14. I Could Never Be Your Woman

15. Sex & The City

16. Waitress

17. Couples Retreat

18. Labor Pains

19. Music and Lyrics

20. Becoming Jane

21. The Other End Of The Line

22. The Accidental Husband

23. The Time Traveler’s Wife

24. Dear John

25. Nights In Rodanthe

26. Australia

27. Made of Honor

28. Evening

29. Valentine's Day

30. The Ramen Girl

You can read about Nick's adventures at his website, http://30chickflicks.com/.

Some men have suggested that Nick's wife, Nicci, should agree to watch 30 action flicks in 30 days. But I don't think that most action movies per se give us more than a cartoonish idea of what men are like. Yes, some action movies may be revealing or instructive about what makes men tick, but the category is too narrow. I'd include buddy movies plus anything else that reveals men's psyches. And I wouldn't limit the field to films from 2007 to today. Why leave out the really good old films?

Here, for instance, are some films I recommended in this space back in 2002 in a list called "Mentoring at the Movies":

Finding Forrester

The Cider House Rules

Good Will Hunting

November Sky

Dead Poets Society

Shawshank Redemption

The Color of Money

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

Slam

The Man without a Face

The Tic Code

Training Day

Some of them are action movies; some, like "Training Day," are quite violent. But they all involve men relating to each other or to women or to the rest of society in rich, sometimes unpredictable ways. Here are a few more recent films I've thought of:

Avatar (of course)

Any of the "Oceans" films

Up in the Air

Star Trek (2009)

Iron Man

Milk

Il Postino

Duplicity

The Soloist

Charlie Wilson's War

The Terminal

Road to Perdition

The Green Mile

Philadelphia

Cast Away

Uh, I seem to be on a Tom Hanks jag.

Well, you get the idea. Many movies about men show us not only as heroes or superheroes but also struggling with and occasionally triumphing over doubt, fear, reversals, and feelings of inadequacy.

But I want your ideas. What movies would you sit Nicci down and make her watch for 30 days? Not to punish her for her stunt with Nick, but to explore what you want women, or society in general, to know about us by watching movies about men?